Are You “Should-ing” on Yourself?

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a teacher with a big binder pointing her finger at us. Represents someone telling us we "should"

Do you ever hear yourself saying, “I should be happy?” Perhaps you have set up your life the way you want, but on some level, you’re still not happy? Or perhaps you haven’t made any changes because you believe you “should be happy” with the status quo?

Well here’s what’s going on and how to fix it so you can be happy and free.

“Should” is Manipulation

The word “should” is used for manipulation. People use the word “should” when they are trying to control you. Even though they may be motivated by love and trying to help; even if they sincerely believe that doing what they suggest will make you happy; they are still trying to get you to do it their way.

On the other hand, they may be focused solely on their own self interest.. They may be trying to get you to do something or to stop doing something so that they can be happy. 

When you were a child, you were “shoulded-on” often and you may have learned to distrust your inner guidance. Even today, there is a bossy, controlling voice stored in your brain’s database that may be preventing you from being true to yourSELF. (Your higher SELF.)

That happened to me. “Should-ing on myself” prevented me from doing the things that would have made me happy, rich and free. I always believed it was possible to create an amazing life. That’s why I was devoted to studying and taking action for so many years and I’m so glad that I did!  And now my greatest joy is teaching and coaching others so they can be free of “shoulds” and live the rich and happy lives they were meant to have.

So when you hear the “should ” word, don’t allow it to distract you from your truth which, in this example, is that you are unhappy about something.

What do you do instead?

Honor Your Discontent

Image of a table with a coffee cup, pen and a sticky note that says Be who you want to be, not what others want to see.

Honor your discontent by asking yourself, “what would be the antidote to this discontent?” Ask yourself, “what would I love?” Then make the decision to make that happen.

You might experience some resistance. The voice of fear may continue to try to get into the conversation and tell you lots of reasons why change is impossible or too difficult — like “it’s too late, you’re too old, you don’t have the money, you don’t have the time, blah, blah, blah…”

The Power that Created You Provides for You

Don’t let fear dissuade you or scare you! Remember that your discontent is a signal from your loving Creator that there is a better way for you. Furthermore, the same love that created you, will provide the guidance and solutions you require.

Ask and you shall receive

woman with eyes closed going within to communicate with her Higher Self

Go to that quiet, still place inside you and ask, “what steps shall I take to move me forward? And then listen for an answer. It will answer you. It will be a calm, loving, comforting voice and you will feel at peace and confident in Its presence.

Then take action and watch everything fall into place. 

You Will Be Guided to Peace and Joy

Fear and doubt may continue to squawk but you will simply repeat the process. Ask your Higher Self for what you need to know and you will be guided back to peace and joy. 

I invite you to try this and let me know how it goes. I’m eager to hear about the transformation in your life.

Here’s to being happy, rich and free!



P.S. If you’re having a hard time figuring out why you’re unhappy, or if you know what would make you happy but you aren’t taking action consistently, then join me in the Dream Big And Bloom Academy and get the coaching and community support that will propel you forward. Don’t waste another precious day feeling unfulfilled! Make yourself happy now! Enroll here.

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