Hi, and Welcome to Dream Big & Bloom Podcast #9!
I’m Mardi Lynn, certified Dream Builder Coach and I teach women over 60 like me, how to Dream Big and Bloom that means to envision what you really want out of life and don’t settle. You can get more details about the program at my website DreamBigAndBloom.com
Although I specialize in helping women over 60 who want more fulfillment, and fun during their retirement years, my program works for everyone. Everyone is welcome here and everyone can benefit from listening to this podcast and doing the practices.
My intention with this podcast is to inspire you and teach you how to go for what makes your heart sing and create a life you absolutely love.
This episode is # 3 in a three part series based on my 3 hour workshop. If you have listened to the first two episodes (#7 and #8)
- you have been considering a dream.
- You have been exploring the possibilities and
- learning about how dreams work
- You understand that everything is created twice, that thoughts held in mind reproduce after their kind,
- you are a creative presence and power and you don’t get a choice about that
- you will DESIGN a life or you will continue the patterns you have had
- you are choosing to explore possibilities, entertain ideas, move into the imaginal realm and construct a thought form of possibility that you are in love with.
In the last episode of this podcast, episode #8, I shared the inspiring story of Mary Morrissey’s life-altering experience of overcoming fatal kidney disease with the help of a healing prayer practitioner who understood the mind/body connection back in the day when it was not as well known as it is today.
So now you understand why dream building starts with our thinking.
So now can you appreciate the benefit of monitoring our thinking and focusing on what we want rather than what we don’t want?
And in addition to its effect on our stress level, is the fact that our thinking actually CREATES things in our lives can be used for our benefit.
So, are you ready to use your thoughts to define and manifest your dreams — to create a life you absolutely love and to not settle for just good enough?
OK. Now…when you are defining your dream, the most important question to ask yourself is WHAT WOULD I LOVE?
Pay attention to your Longings and Discontent. Sometimes your longings will speak louder, and sometimes your discontent.
There is a bigger YOU seeking to emerge through you. It is seeking an ever, freer, fuller more expanded experience and expression through you. Just as the acorn has the oak tree seeking fuller expression in it.
Both our longings and discontent are important signals and are to be heeded. Isn’t that an amazing and liberating idea? To realize that discontent is not a bad thing to be rejected and covered up…but something to be used to make our lives better!
In fact it’s really difficult to ignore because WHAT YOU RESIST PERSISTS.
If I say DON’T think about the Statue of liberty, what are you thinking about? Are you seeing her out in the harbor, her arm in the air holding the torch?
If I say, “imagine yourself sucking on a lemon right now? Is there an image and even a physical response in your body?
Yep…we think in pictures, so when imagining the life you would absolutely love, you’ll want to paint as vivid a picture as you can. Let your imagination go wild!
Occasionally people will say that they can’t come up with a vision. If you believe that, then think about a time when your partner, or your child was hours late and you couldn’t reach them. Did you start to see vivid images and scenes of potential outcomes? Fear certainly gets the imagination revved and running wild!
And we can use it!
THE SECRET is to state your dream as approach goals vs. avoidance goals.
- Live in financial abundance rather than Get out of debt.
- Move with comfort and ease rather than No more back pain.
- Enjoy living at my ideal weight rather than Lose weight.
Right now, are you thinking of some things that you don’t want, that can be stated as what you do want? Great!
Now, We’re going to do an exercise in which we become more conscious of our dreams
I invite you to close your eyes if you are somewhere right now where you can. Take a deep breath. Imagine that in your lap is a book. Every single page is a day of your life. There are lots of pages on the left side and on the right side. The pages on the left are written on. The pages on the right are blank. See all those blank, white pages. You have been given the power, the authority to write the story on these pages. Will these pages be written by design or by default?
This is your moment. Gazing from the highest point of view you can take. Look down upon the landscape of your current life and we’re going to explore what you would love in the 4 major domains of your life.
1. Health Just for a moment call forth the image of your health. What is your image of your health?
- How do you feel in your body?
- What activities do you engage in?
- What do you eat?
- What does your skin look like?
- What is your weight?
- What would you love?
2. Relationships — Deep loving relationship.
Are you longing to deepen an existing relationship?
What would that relationship be like?
Is there discontent?
Is there any discord that needs to be resolved?
What would you love?
3. Financial freedom – What would you love in terms of the flow of money in your life? What would you do with that money?
Go on a trip?
Have the home you’ve always wanted?
Give in the ways you’ve wanted to give?
What would you love?
4. Creative expression — career, volunteer work or passion projects
What kind of work would you love to do in the world?
How do you see yourself expressing your talents?
Sharing your unique abilities?
What would you love?
Now bring yourself back to the present and open your eyes.
How was that? I’d love it if you would share in the comments on my blog page for this episode, or my Dream Big And Bloom Facebook page or in our private group, Women Over 60 Seeking More.
Now, if you were in one of my workshops, you would pair up with someone and do an activity where you would have an opportunity to share your dream out loud with another person who sees you as a powerful being who can bring about anything you desire.
This activity is designed to help you tweak and refine your vision and anchor it in your mind. Since this isn’t a workshop with a group of you, I’m going to give you the instructions so you can replay this later and do the exercise with a friend or relative.
• Decide who will be partner number 1 and who is partner number 2.
• Partner number 2, you are going to be sharing your dream first.
• Partner number 1, you play a very important role. You must keep in mind the power of someone offering their dream to you and consider that it’s in a fragile state.
Recognize the gift that this is and the responsibility you have, when you behold someone’s dream. You are a mirror for them. One of the ways to help facilitate that is to look at your partner and remember the deeper truth of who they are. They are a great soul in an earth Suit. They are a luminous light being.
Remember The movie “Cocoon” when the captain was looking through the peephole at that beautiful woman? He’s hoping to get a glimpse of her when she takes her clothes off, and he gets a great surprise, because she takes her whole body off. And she is this luminous light being.
The person in front of you is a luminous light being and there is nothing they could tell you that is beyond their capacity to bring about. It may beyond their known ability, but it is in the field of their potential. And it assists them greatly if you can stay in that place in you that remembers that. Renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers called it “unconditional Positive Regard”. Fill the room with Unconditional Positive Regard. See the potential in your partner. Don’t see them in their problem.
And be aware that you don’t have a right to tell anyone about your partner’s dream. It’s their dream.
So Partner #1, turn to partner #2 and assure them, “your dream is safe with me.”
Partner #1 – your job is to hold that space of unconditional positive regard, welcoming any image of possibility that your partner is creating. This is a monologue. Only partner #2 is speaking, and if they finish before the 3 minutes, partner #1 is to remain silent. Give your partner the gift of silence
OK, set a timer for three minutes and Partner #1, tell Partner #2, “Please tell me your dream.”
Now Partner #1 Reflects Back The Dream
Partner # 1 you’re going to reflect back #2s dream to them.
#2, you are going to remain silent. This is your partner’s gift to you. You want to listen for what gives you life and what does not feel quite right. You will be tempted to make corrections, but for now, just remain silent. Take it all in. This is their gift to you.
You may notice something is missing but, for now, just listen as #1 mirrors back to you your vision.
Start a timer for 2 minutes and then Partner #2 say, “This is the dream I hear you having” and repeat back what you heard to the best of your ability
Now, Partner #2 Clarifies their Dream
Now Partner #2, you are going to have 1 minute to refine your dream.
At this stage, your dream is very changeable. You’ll want to change it now rather than a mile down the road.
Set a timer for 1 minute and then say, “To clarify my dream, the dream I’m really having is…
Sometimes this exercise brings up tears. Most of us haven’t been this in touch with our real self, in a long time. And we haven’t felt this or seen or heard it in a long time — if ever. Tears are a natural outpouring when our heat opens.
Mary tells a story of an 8-year old who came up to Mary after her talk at chuch and the little girl said, “I noticed that some people cried when they heard you speak. And Mary said “yes, that happens sometimes.” And the little girl said, “I guess it’s just that, when your heart opens, your eyes leak.”
Partners Trade Places
Now you are going to trade places and Partner #1 is going to share their dream.
So Partner 2, remember to really see who it is who is sitting in front of you.
Assure partner #1 that their dream is safe with you. Say, “your dream is safe with me.”
Now set the timer for 3 minutes and tell Partner #1, “please share your dream with me.”
Now Partner # 2, reflect back #1s dream to them.
#1 remember to remain silent. This is your partner’s gift to you. You want to listen for what gives you life and what does not feel quite right. You will be tempted to correct, but just remain silent. Take it all in. This is their gift to you. You may notice something is missing but for now, just listen as #2 mirrors back to you your vision.
Start the timer for 2 minutes and then #2 say, “This is the dream I hear you having”
Partner #1 Clarifies the Dream
Now Partner #1 you are going to have your chance to refine your dream.
At this stage, your dream is very changeable and you’re going to change it now rather than a mile down the road.
Set the timer for 1 minute and say, “And to clarify, the dream I am really having is…
Testing Your Dream
Now, you may be asking yourself questions like:
- How do I know this dream is right for me?
- Is it worthy of my time and energy?
- Is this the highest possibility for me?
The next step in dream building is to test your dream. Here’s how we do that.
Imaginally step inside the dream and ask yourself these 5 questions:
1. Does it give me life?
When you step inside that dream imaginally do you feel an amplified aliveness? You want a yes to this question. Your life force will never lie to you. If you imaginally move into a dream and you feel containment or constriction, it’s not your dream. Now you may have a worthy goal, like my dream is to get the garage cleaned out. Well that might be a worthy goal to get your garage cleaned out but it’s not really your dream. Your dream is for a more expansive expressive life and the forms of that will be unique to each one of us. The creativity and the lens through which that is expressed is as unique as our thumbprint. But that it gives us more life is universal. So when you imaginally put yourself inside the dream do you feel more alive? Do you feel more expansive? You want a yes to that question.
2. Does it align with my core values?
Now you may not know what 86 your core values are and that would be a good exploration. When it all is said and 87 done and when you put your head on the pillow for the very last time — and you will — what will have mattered to you? What matters most? This life is precious and fleeting. When it’s all said and done what will have mattered most to you? Those are your core values. It may be relationships. It might be family. It might be giving your gift to the world. I don’t know what it is for you but I know that you need to know and you want to align your dream with your core values. And here’s the truth, your real dream will never ask you to be out of alignment or to compromise or ignore your core values
3. Does it cause me to grow?
The Talmud says every blade of grass has an angel leaning over it whispering grow, grow, grow. That same pull of becoming is in you. Your dream is going to require that you step into a larger dimension of yourself. Now does it mean that you know how to do that? No. Does it mean that you know all that is required? No. But can you see that to live a larger life you are going to have to grow? Grow in understanding, grow in awareness, grow in action, grow in the many different things that will be required to anchor and secure a larger experience of aliveness and demonstrate it in your life. So does the dream require that I grow? You want a yes to that question.
These choices put you in harmony with the way the universe works. Does it give me
life? Does it align with my core values? Is it going to require that I grow?
4. Does it require a power bigger than me?
Another way to ask this question is do I know every single thing that needs to be done to bring about this dream. If I know every single thing that needs to be done to bring about this dream then the dream isn’t big enough. It’s just a worthy goal. It can be a really worthy goal. But if you already know everything there is to do to bring about the dream it’s not big enough. Because here’s how it works, your dream actually pulls you into a larger dimension of who you have been created to be but you are not yet aware of it. My dreams have pulled me into larger dimensions of awareness about who I really am, who I have been created to be. That dream is the future pull of the discovery of the authentic self. Now part of that is exploring in the unknown aspects of really who you are. You have to allow the dream to build you, not just you build the dream. I talk more about this in my DreamBuilder Program, but for now the question is do you know every single thing that needs to happen? Do you know exactly how to build this dream? Do I need help from a higher power? And where is this higher power? It’s this infinite mind. It’s everywhere present. It’s the land of the solution. It’s just not in my awareness yet but I have access to that because I am a child of this universe. I am a child of the infinite. I am part of it. Do I know exactly how to get all that? No, not yet. But again that is not my business. My business first and foremost is to create the blueprint. It’s to make a decision for a life I want to create and a difference I want to make.
Does it give me life, this dream? Does it align with my core values, this dream? Is it going to require that I grow? Do I need help from a higher power? You want yeses to all those questions.
5. And the last question is does it have some good in it for others?
Even thought the universe is expressing a fuller, freer expanded experience of life
through you, it’s not just about you. We are all connected. There is one presence, one life, one uni-verse. So in order for your dream to be aligned with the full support of the universe, it must in some way, make a difference for others.
Now if part of your dream is that you really want that intimate relationship that has seemed so elusive, you may wonder how is my having my soul mate, my ideal partner, going to be a blessing to others? Here’s the truth, when two people have a loving relationship and demonstrate what real love looks like, they are a blessing to every person who knows them. If your dream is about growing a garden, you are either going to produce food or beauty. There is definitely a blessing in that.
So your idea of good for others does not have to have some unusual merit to it. It’s just a matter of being able to look at it and know that there is a blessing in this dream for others. There is good that will come from this to others.
So, to recap the five point test then on your dream. Remember, you are not asking am I worthy of this dream. You are asking is this dream worthy of me trading my life for the building of that dream. Again, you are going to trade your life to build something by happenstance, or by conscious design.
So you are creating a rich, powerful design for your mind to go to work on and create a life that you would absolutely love. You can fall in with this idea. Does it give me life? Does it align with my core values? Is it going to require that I grow? Do I need help from a higher power? Is there some good in this dream for others? If you can answer yes to all those five questions then this dream is worthy of you moving toward it.
Now you may get redirected along the way to some higher order dream, but for right now I am inviting you to decide for a dream.
Now, what if your dream did not pass the five point test — it isn’t quite in alignment with your core values or it’s not big enough because you already understand exactly what needs to be done, then go back to the dream chamber.
It isn’t that there isn’t’ a dream for you. It’s just that the discovery of it isn’t yet complete. So do whatever is required to complete your vision statement because you need to have a dream in mind before you can take the next step which is to commit to it.
That next step is “deciding for your dream.
Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books and one of the people featured in the movie The Secret, tells an wonderful story about the power of deciding for your dream. He says,
I have a friend named Monty Roberts who owns a horse ranch in San Ysidro. He has let me use his house to put on fund-raising events to raise money for youth at risk programs. The last time I was there he introduced me by saying, “I want to tell you why I let Jack use my house. It all goes back to a story about a young man who was the son of an itinerant horse trainer who would go from stable to stable, race track to race track, farm to farm and ranch to ranch, training horses. As a result, the boy’s high school career was continually interrupted.
When he was a senior, he was asked to write a paper about what he wanted to be and do when he grew up. “That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing his goal of someday owning a horse ranch. He wrote about his dream in great detail and he even drew a diagram of a 200-acre ranch, showing the location of all the buildings, the stables and the track. Then he drew a detailed floor plan for a 4,000-square-foot house that would sit on a 200-acre dream ranch. “He put a great deal of his heart into the project and the next day he handed it in to his teacher.
Two days later he received his paper back. On the front page was a large red F with a note that read, ‘See me after class.’
“The boy with the dream went to see the teacher after class and asked, ‘Why did I receive an F?’
“The teacher said, ‘This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, ‘If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’
“The boy went home and thought about it long and hard. He asked his father what he should do. His father said, ‘Look, son, you have to make up your own mind on this. However, I think it is a very important decision for you.
Finally, after sitting with it for a week, the boy turned in the same paper, making no changes at all. He stated, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.”
Monty then turned to the assembled group and said, “I tell you this story because you are sitting in my 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of my 200-acre horse ranch. I still have that school paper framed over the fireplace.”
Deciding for your dream requires a commitment and a willingness to get bigger than your circumstances, and bigger than what those around you may say.
It requires a willingness to live from the larger truth of who you are (from the greatness within you), rather than from the circumstances of your life.
Are you ready now to make a commitment to your dream? Are you ready to sign your name to it? Are you ready to let go of the old stories and ‘take up your bed and walk’?
If you are, then the next step is to write down your dream, sign it and date it as a symbol of your commitment to it.
Put on your favorite inspirational music and write it all down. In my workshop,, I like to play the song “Miracles” by the Jefferson Starship.
So we’ve defined our dream, we’ve tested it to make sure it’s worthy of us, we’ve decided for the dream and signed our name to it, now, the next step is to actually step into our Dream. As Mary says, “You cannot get TO your dream, you must come FROM it.” We must “put on the Dream.”
Here’s how to “put on your dream:”
One way is to begin tuning your whole body to the frequency of your dream — like a tuning fork. You do that by ‘five sensorizing” it.
- Use all five of your senses to put on that life.
- What does it smell like, sound like, feel like, look like, taste like?
- Allow yourself to feel this in your whole body.
Then allow yourself to ‘put on’ that life…
- What does that person do, say, eat, wear?
- Who do you hang out with, what kind of conversations do you have?
- How does that person walk out the door in the morning.
- What does that person watch on television?
- What does that person read?
YOU STEP INTO YOUR VISION AND PUT ON THAT PERSON.
The Time Machine Exercise
Another powerful way to put on your dream is an exercise that we do in my workshops called The Time Machine Exercise. I’ll explain it here so you can do it with your partner after you do the visioning exercises together.
This is going to give you the opportunity to put on your dream in your imagination. You’re going to step into your life 3 years from now. Imagine that this is 2023 (or 3 years from now if you’re listening to this podcast much later) and you have miraculously bumped into the partner that you worked with (or should we say played with) during the visioning exercises and you haven’t seen each other since that day. You are so excited to share with them what’s going on in your life and to find out what’s going on in theirs.
Stand facing each other. You are each going to take five steps counter clockwise and when you come back around, it’s 3 years later, and, miraculously, you bump into your partner on the street and you tell them all about your life and what’s happening. Give yourselves 5 minutes to catch up with one another on your life, 3 years from now.
Set a timer for 5 minutes and take turns.
And here’s a follow up question…
If your future self could speak to you right now, what would she say? What would she want you to know?
Now, what are the next steps?
The next step is to start living as if your life has already transformed. Just start from what you can, from where you are with what you have.
Ask yourself each day, “What’s one thing I CAN I do today to take a step in the direction of my dream?” “What would I do if I didn’t believe it was impossible?” And then take that step. Taking even just a baby steps every day will have a huge impact on your life.
I’d love to know how you’re doing with these practices and I invite you to share on my blog page for this episode, or on my Facebook Page for Dream Big and Bloom or my private Facebook Group, Women Over 60 Seeking More.
Before you go, I want to share a story that’s a metaphor for stepping out of our comfort zone and stepping onto the water of possibility. You may be familiar with the story of Jesus of Nazareth and the 12 disciples that went out in the boat on the sea of Galilee. Jesus appeared to them, walking on the water, and of course it freaked them out. And Jesus even invited them to step out of the boat and walk to him. The disciples must have thought, “Are you crazy?”
This becomes a metaphor for stepping out of your comfort zone and stepping onto the water of possibility. There were 12 disciples in that boat. Peter was the only one who had the courage to get out of the boat.
Most people’s dreams stop at this point, when it requires taking that first step out of the old paradigm and into unknown territory. Peter DID step out, and as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus – his teacher and mentor, who represents the possibility of something greater – Peter’s vision, his dream, the greater, freer, fuller, more expanded expression of his life – he was fine. But as soon as Peter started looking at the water (the conditions) around him, he sank.
The same is true for you – As long as you keep your eyes on your vision, on the TRUTH, instead of focusing on the conditions (the facts), you will continue to be pulled forward. But as soon as you start to focus on the conditions, you will sink.
The most vulnerable place for your dream is right in this spot – when you have a clear vision of what you want, but you aren’t living it yet. You are in the gap. And this is when having support — mentoring and coaching — is most critical. Peter sank, but the thing that saved him is that he looked up and asked for help. He put his eyes on his teacher and his vision again, and asked for support.
I’ve really enjoy making this podcast for you. I love teaching this material, breathing life into your dreams and holding a safe space for you to Dream Big and Bloom into the full potential that Life offers you. I hope you have found it helpful and that you will share your results (or any questions you may have) in the comments on my website or Facebook pages.
At the same time, I know from years of experience in this field, that life happens, people get busy, and over the next year, 80% of the people in a workshop, will create a life very similar to the life they have now.
However, some of you KNOW you are ready to invest in your dream. So, for YOU, I’d like to offer some one-on-one time with me — where you can get my eyes on your dream. Schedule a complementary Discovery Session with me. It’s a $250 value and we’ll spend about an hour, getting clear on exactly where you are now, where you would love to be, and the next best step you can take to move you forward.
You can schedule a complementary Discovery Call on my website, dreambigandbloom.com or by clicking the link on the blog page with this episode, or on the Dream Big And Bloom Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/DreamBigAndBloom or my private Facebook Group, Women Over 60 Seeking More. Women Over 60 Seeking More.
Thank you for listening. It has been my joy to serve you and I hope you will tune in again next week. Bye for now.
Ways To Share And Connect With Me
or my Facebook Page, https://www.facebook.com/DreamBigAndBloom
Or in my private Facebook Group Women Over 60 Seeking More.
Links To The Things Mentioned:
Details About The DreamBuilder Coaching Program
Free Video Training with the Time Machine Visioning Exercise https://dreambigandbloom.com/training120393
Link to the Previous Podcast Episode https://dreambigandbloomblog.com/2020/10/11/podcast-8-part-2-of-my-workshop-marys-story/
Chicken Soup for The Soul by Jack Canfield on Amazon.com
The Secret by Rhona Byrne https://www.thesecret.tv/the-secret-documentary/
Facebook Group: Women Over 60 Seeking More https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenover60seekingmore
Facebook Business Page https://www.facebook.com/DreamBigAndBloom