Episode #16: No More New Year’s Resolutions

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Music, “This is My Life” courtesy of Irene Boggs affirmajams.com/

Welcome to the Dream Big & Bloom podcast for creating a life you absolutely love.

Hi, I’m Mardi Lynn, certified DreamBuilder Coach and I believe

  1. You are capable of far more than you know 
  2. You were created to have an amazing and fulfilling life. It’s your birthright.
  3. You DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE for just “good enough”
  4. You are more powerful than any circumstance, situation or condition
  5. You absolutely can create the life of your dreams.

And I’m here to show you how.

This week, between Christmas and New Years Day, is the time of year when many people look back over the past year and plan for the new one.

I’m a planner.  I love being organized and having a plan for the year, quarter, month and day.  I’ve read many books on planning and used many different systems.  I’ve even designed a special planner for my coaching clients, that includes the daily practices of the DreamBuilder program.  

As Mary Morrissey likes to say, if it’s not on the calendar, it’s not real.”  Your energy is more powerful when it’s channeled.  Like water…when it’s in a pool it just sits there but when it’s channeled through a pipe it has the power to move and change things.

That being said, there’s one recommended practice that I’ve never been comfortable with and that’s the suggestion to spend a considerable amount of time looking back at the past year.  Some people suggest that you go through your journal, or calendar or emails…whatever records you have to jog your memory and then list out what you accomplished, what didn’t get accomplished and lessons you’ve learned.  

There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing this and I’m sure a lot of people benefit from doing it.  I wonder how many people actually do it.  

The potential pitfall in my mind is how the ego or the monkey mind handles it.  Are you going to have to invest a lot of time and energy in restoring your peace of mind after doing this?  There might be a tendency to beat yourself up over the things you didn’t accomplish, or wallow in regret over disappointment about things that didn’t turn out the way you had hoped. 

If you are having to go back through the whole year at year’s end, because you didn’t track your goals and progress throughout the year, you are probably not going to like what you see… because when we aren’t focused in the present moment, we tend to drift  As Mary Morrissey, the creator of the DreamBuilder Program likes to say, no wind is favorable to a sailor who has no destination in mind.”  

There are several reasons I don’t don’t do a year end review, even though I do keep a journal.  (My journaling practice is very unique by the way.  That’s a topic for another podcast.)

The first reason that I don’t do a review of my past year is that it’s over and done and I don’t see the value of looking backward. Do you drive your car by focusing on your rear view mirror?  You may look back briefly but that’s it.

The next reason is that monkey mind or Ego, that gets all agitated when looking at the past.  If it gets going about things we didn’t accomplish or events and people that disappointed us, we have to do the work to change our perspective in order to feel good again – to get our energy back to a positive vibration.  Why even go there?  I think the time is better spent on moving forward. 

My personality type and paradigm has a bit of the perfectionist in it and because I’m aware of that in myself, I’ve learned how to manage it.  I don’t spend a lot of time analyzing past events and activities but rather just keep moving forward.

Other people may actually find it motivating to look at the things that didn’t get accomplished.  Maybe you’re the type of personality that needs to have a little pressure applied in order to motivate you to do better in the future and if that works for you, great.  But if it generates a lot of negativity and stress, it won’t serve you well.

The ideal, in my mind, is to be able to move forward with goals consistently and, at the same time, enjoy the process.  

At one point this year, I heard Michael Hyatt on a podcast and looked at his Full Focus planning system.  I made a spreadsheet with my goals for the year, put them in priority order and then picked severa to focus on for the quarter and the month.  But I didn’t refer to it consistently because of my DreamBuilder Daily practice and it didn’t seem worth while to keep updating the list with the items that had been accomplished.  What I DID notice though when I looked back at it, was that I accomplished and enormous amount of work.  Some of it didn’t bear fruit though…the work didn’t produce the results I had hoped and I started to feel disappointed, and then I reminded myself that I learned new skills that will probably come in handy at some point and I did the best I could.  I worked on my goals consistently and kept the faith that my dreams would manifest.  My conclusion was that I don’t need the full focus planner system and all that record keeping.  

Dream Builders focus on their vision everyday and make steady progress so they don’t need this backward facing practice.  I don’t’ need to review the year to see what goals have been accomplished or not accomplished because they are all in front of me on the daily.  I do use a planning system…it’s just a very simple one.  

The second reason I don’t dig through my journal, is that I don’t need to list my accomplishments in order to feel good about myself or my progress.  I know I did the best I could at the time and it’s all fine and I  have accepted the universal spiritual principle that we are all worthy and deserving and capable. 

Granted, this is an advanced level and it takes practice to get there.  In the Dream Builder Program I teach an exercise to help you focus on your past accomplishments to make the point that you are more capable than you may have realized, and clients share a “proud of” at the beginning of every coaching session.  It’s definitely a good thing to do and I encourage you to do it if it makes you feel more empowered and capable.  

I even have a place in my DreamBuilder Planner to record your Proud Ofs. But, again, it’s a daily practice rather than a year end exercise. 

At some point, you may internalize that belief and you won’t need to keep doing the exercise or you may do it occasionally if there are especially challenging times that trigger self doubt.

And the final reason I don’t revisit my journal is that my mentor Bijan Anjomi, showed me the wisdom of not looking back. He doesn’t even have pictures on the wall of relatives who have passed because he says, the Ego will try to make you feel sad.  He said that if it makes you feel good, then go for it but if it doesn’t don’t.  Whatever makes you feel peace. Choose that.  

As DreamBuilders, we stay focused on our vision and all the goodness and beauty today has to offer.  It’s about living in the present moment — treasuring each precious moment.  It’s our thoughts and energy in THIS moment that create our future good because everything is created twice – first in thought and then in the physical.

As Louise Hay used to say, “the point of power is in the present moment.”  

And as Abraham Hicks says, (for all you Law of Attraction practitioners) “there is nothing more important than that you feel good.

So how do we approach the new year as DreamBuilders?  The same way we approach every new day…with gratitude for all the blessing life has to offer and by using our freedom, opportunity and power to create a life we absolutely love today.  When there are dreams that haven’t manifested yet, we remind ourselves that this is just the way it looks on the path to our ideal life.  

With the DreamBuilder perspective and practices there’s no need for New Year’s resolutions.  Every day is an opportunity to revise your DreamBuilder vision statement and take a step forward, shift your perceptions, forgive, release the past and choose peace and joy.  It’s such a great way to live!

There’s no shame, no blame, no beating yourself up, no struggle with burdensome resolutions, just the joy of your vision for the life you would absolutely love and the adventure of creating it.

Does that sound good to you?   

Has this podcast episode caused you to change the way you look at New Year’s Day?

I’d love to know…join the discussion and let us know your thoughts at  dreambigandbloom.com/

And if you have a burning question you’d like me to answer on a future episode, just post it in the comments too.

Now as you go, remember…you absolutely can live a life you absolutely love — dream big, follow your heart and live with all the joy, purpose, prosperity and fulfillment you deserve.

If you’re enjoying this podcast please review it in iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts, and share it.  That helps more people discover this work.  

If you’d love to learn more about the DreamBuilder System for overcoming any challenge and realizing any dream, here are some resources for you.

1. Listen to episode 7,8,and 9 of this podcast which have my workshop for learning the foundational DreamBuilder principles.  Then write out your vision statement and start taking baby steps everyday.

2. Be a guest on the podcast and get coaching and answers to your individual questions. Go to dreambigandbloom.com/ and click the link in the show notes to apply.

3. If you’re finding the ideas on this podcast useful and you’d love in-depth personalized support for overcoming any challenge and creating a life you absolutely love, I invite you to apply for my DreamBuilder coaching program where we take all the things I talk about here and apply them to you and your life.  Just imagine you and me together every week for 12 weeks laser focused on how to feel happy and fulfilled and create your dream life.  By the end of our work together you will have the tools and practices so that no matter what happens in your life, you can live with peace and joy. 

Go to Dream Big and Bloom.com and book a complementary Discovery call. 

Thanks for listening, it’s my joy and passion to serve you.

I hope you will treat EVERY day like a brand new baby day.  Make it a happy one. Doing that everyday will create Your Happiest New Year ever.

Much love to you

Bye for now!

Here are the next steps you can take

  1. Join the conversation in the comments and and post any questions you may have.
  2. Listen to my other podcasts, especially #7, 8 & 9
  3. Be a guest on the show and get free coaching? Click here
  4. Get the full DreamBuilder Program with coaching support? Book a complimentary Discovery Session on my calendar. We’ll get clarity on exactly where you are now, where you would love to be, and decide if we’re a good match to work together.

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