Music Courtesy of Irene Boggs http://affirmajams.com/
Hi! And welcome to the Dream Big & Bloom Podcast Episode #53
I’m Mardi Lynn, certified DreamBuilder Coach and author of Living Happy, Rich and Free After 60, the guidebook and scorecard for achieving your dreams and I help ladies create lives they absolutely love.
The DreamBuilder Program that I teach is a proven, reliable system for overcoming any challenge and achieving any dream no matter how big it seems.
This podcast will introduce you to the powerful principles and practices of the DreamBuilder system and show you the mindsets that are growing or slowing your progress.
Greetings from the wild and wonderful desert of Southern Nevada! It’s 70 degrees, clear and sunny.
I’m enjoying my campervan adventures, and, at the same time, I’m being challenged to learn a lot of new things.
As of last night, there is something scratching around the rear of my van. I can’t see anything but I heard it all night. I think it’s a rodent trying to take up residence for the winter and I will be going into town today to get some rodent repellent spray made out of mint and rosemary oil. I know that some people put motion detector lights under their vehicles to keep rodents away but I hadn’t done anything to prepare for the possibility. So now is the time to take action.
Are you always prepared for emergencies?
For instance, do you have an emergency kit in the trunk of your car?
Have you ever had an emergency and wished you’d had something you didn’t have?
Well, on our journey through life, we need an emergency kit also.
Even though we have faith that we’re connected to a Higher Power and can be directed to our highest good, “shit happens” as they say. There are circumstances and people that will disappoint us and we don’t have control over them. This is just a fact of life. And if we aren’t prepared – both mentally and physically, we might find ourselves thrashing around wondering what to do, and being agitated and upset.
When we are in this state of mind — when the primitive survival-focused part of our brain has taken over in an effort to protect us; we may start catastrophizing. I love that word. Is that even a word?
Catastrophizing is like doing a vision statement, or a vision board for something we don’t want. Doesn’t it seem weird that we would create a vivid, Technicolor, movie in our mind of something that we don’t want to happen?
And especially if you’re familiar with the laws of attraction and manifestation and you know that what you envision is likely to come to pass. You know you need to get a grip but; at that moment, it might seem like you’ve forgotten all the DreamBuilder principles and practices you’ve learned.
When you’re pursuing a dream, doing something new, or even when you just encounter people you find challenging, you are, as Hildegarde de Bingen, a 13th century Christian mystic, said, “living on the green growing Edge of your new becoming.” Because we’re always being challenged to grow, to expand, to have more and to be more.
I’ve had a few experiences like this lately, as I shared in episodes #50 and #51 and I recently coached a client who was having one too.
When we’re triggered, it seems like we’ve forgotten everything we know. You may know all the dreambuilder principles and practices and be using them in your day-to-day life and then all of a sudden it seems like it just goes out the window.
So today, I want to offer you a little emergency kit. Having an emergency kit will make you feel more secure knowing that you’re prepared – just in case, and you will have more peace and joy on your journey. And, if something does happen that throws you for a loop, you’ll be able to grab the tools and get things under control quickly.
So I’m going to share with you some ideas that you can put in your emergency kit that will help you nip fear in the bud and take your power back.
In The DreamBuilder Program, we learn to “befriend” fear by using five simple steps
- Notice what you’re thinking – pause and interrupt it with your attention, then
- Take a deep breath.
- Remember that you have a Higher Power within you that will supports you and guide you
- Put your focus back on your vision and then
- Take action
If this is not an automatic process for you then I recommend that you write down the steps and put them somewhere handy.
Now this assumes you have a vision to focus on. If you’ve listened to my three part workshop, episodes #7, 8 and 9, (just go to https://dreambigandbloom.com/workshop/ ) you may have created a detailed vision statement for the four major domains of your life, health, relationships, vocation and time & Money freedom, but you can make vision statements for other things as well, like a vision for your day, or for an important meeting, a conversation with a specific person, making an important purchase, negotiating a financial transaction, attending a family event, etc.
Having a vision gives you clarity and when you’re clear about what you want you’re less apt to become confused or overwhelmed or to settle for less than you truly desire. And your energy will be at a higher vibration.
When you keep your focus on what you would love in each moment of the day, you will be open to creative ideas from your Higher Self. It will be easier to recognize the voice of Fear and nip it in the bud.
Now here’s a little background on how fear works.
The primitive part of your brain is going to get activated whenever you start to feel uncomfortable. And there’s three ways that the brain tries to interrupt your behavior in order to, what It perceives as keeping you safe.
- The first one is “distraction.” It will try to distract you by reminding you of all kinds of things that you need to do that are more important. It will try to convince you that there isn’t time to do what you want to do right now so just leave well enough alone and “Don’t Rock the Boat.”
- The second one is “dissuasion”. It will tell you all the reasons why it isn’t a good idea. This is where those fear-based Visions may come in. All those things that might happen.
- And the third one is what we call “Defcon.” “Defcon” is a military term for “defense readiness condition.” This is when your body becomes overwhelmed with stress hormones, your heart starts racing, maybe you have difficulty breathing or your stomach feels upset. This is the fright, flight and freeze reaction generated by your hormones.
When you are aware of these ploys by your brain — when you recognize that this is what’s happening, it makes it easier for you to take control. You recognize that it’s a normal reaction and that you are the one in charge. Nothing has gone wrong. You just take a deep breath and allow the feelings to pass through you. That’s what we call befriending our fear. Fear is always going to be there trying to protect you but you don’t let it get in the driver’s seat. You take charge.
So the container for your emergency kit is your clear vision for what you’d like to see manifest. Then when you notice fear raising its ungly head, you take a deep breath to calm down your nervous system and listen for that still small voice that will have an idea for you. And then, take action.
- Step 1: Notice the fear
- Step 2: Take a deep breath
- Step 3: Remember that we have a Higher Power within us that supports us and guides us
- Step 4: Put your focus back on your vision and
- Step 5: Take action
That’s it! And I recommend that you put this list on a piece of paper and carry it in your purse or store it somewhere else handy so that you have a quick reference if your mind starts spinning and your hormones get surging.
Now, if your faith isn’t to a point yet where you can change your perspective quickly and easily like this. Then there’s an exercise you can do that will engage your logical mind and overcome your fear with reason.
I recently came across a TED talk by Tim Ferris who teaches a process called “Fear Setting,” like “goal setting.” For Ferris, “fear setting” is more important than “goal setting” because it handles fear in advance and makes it easier to get in action toward his goals. He discovered this process when he was going through a very difficult time in his life.
“Fear setting” is a process of writing down your fears, so you can see them clearly and then planning what you could do to manage the results if they came to pass.
“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” — Yoda
This process will make them seem manageable so they won’t prevent you from moving toward your goals. (I’ve included the video of his TED TAlk in case you want to hear him tell his personal story and explain more about his “fear setting process.”
I think Tim’s worksheet can be helpful if you aren’t strong enough in your faith that the Universe is supporting you, and/or you’re a very analytical person that likes to see facts.
In a sense, you are creating multiple visions and taking action in your mind on things that will probably never happen. LOL And it’s your Higher Power that is providing you with the solutions. Ideally it wouldn’t be necessary to go through this process. Ideally, you would just cut to the chase and tell your monkey mind that everything is OK; but if you can’t get there yet, this might help. And you’ll get a lot of good practice in problem solving. LOL
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles,
but most of them never happened.”
—Mark Twain
In the meantime, keep building your faith by consistently reading inspirational material every day and using affirmations; but for now, answering these questions will get the fearful thoughts out of your head and into the light of day, where you can see them clearly and deal with them logically.
- So first, write down all your fears – every single one of them, and deal with each one individually.
- Then, for each fear, write down what you might be able to do to prevent the circumstance that you fear.
- Then write down what you might be able to do to repair the situation if it should occur.
This process will reassure your monkey mind that you’ve got this so you can relax and move forward.
How does that sound?
Which of these tools will you use?
Do you have any questions?
Share in the comments.
Let’s review…
1. You’re going to create a positive vision statement for every situation that your brain is concerned about.
2. You’re going to remember the truth of who you are –a magnificent expression of The Creator.
3. You’re going to remember that you are always guided and directed to your highest and best.
4. You’re going to listen for that “still small voice” for guidance and peace.
5.You’re going to tell the voice of fear, “thank you for sharing, but I’ve got this.”
6. And then you’re going to move forward with peace and confidence.
And if that doesn’t seem like enough, you will do the worksheet to see evidence in advance.
- You will write down each fear
- For each fear you will write down what you could do to prevent it from occurring
- For each fear you will write down what you could do to repair the situation if it came to pass.
I hope you will write these down — make your own little cheat sheet as your emergency kit.
How about adding some of your favorite affirmations at the top too?
Share in the Comments.
I’d love to know how these practices work for you and if you have any questions. Share in the comments on the webpage, or shoot me and email.
And if you’d like try some coaching on this topic – or any other topic, sign up to be a guest on this podcast at dreambigandbloom.com/guest
More Resources
And here are some other steps you can take to realize your dreams and have more peace and joy in your life.
1. Get The Book
If you haven’t already, get your free copy of Living Happy, Rich and Free After 60. It explains the mindsets for creating a life you’d love and has a scorecard to show you how you are growing or slowing your progress. It’s at dreambigandbloom.com/guidebook
2. Listen to the “Power of Vision” Workshop
Listen at your own pace to this free, three-part series where you’ll learn the foundational principles of DreamBuilding, and create your personal vision for a life that makes you feel happy, rich and free. It’s at DreamBigandBloom.com/workshop
3. Join the Dream Builder Program
Imagine having me as your personal coach to believe in your vision, even when you have doubts, to keep you moving forward. And imagine being a member of an exclusive group of enthusiastic, like-minded ladies who understand the DreamBuilder process and cheer each other on.
Let’s get together for a complementary Strategy Call. You’ll get clarity on exactly where you are now, where you would love to be, how the DreamBuilder Program works and the results you can expect. Go to https://dreambigandbloom.com/get-started
Now as you go remember…
The Power within you is far more powerful than any circumstance or condition you are facing.
- Your past does not determine your future. Your ‘story’ does not define you or your Infinite potential.
- The dream in your heart is Life seeking to be expressed and realized in the world through you.
- You are here to fulfill your heart’s desire and live a life you “absolutely LOVE living!”
- The dream in your heart really can become the life you absolutely LOVE living!
Here’s to living, happy, rich and stress free!
Much love to you,
Mardi