#47 The Key to Mastering Your Results

Music Courtesy of Irene Boggs http://affirmajams.com/

Welcome to the Dream Big & Bloom Podcast, Episode #47

Hi! I’m Mardi Lynn, certified DreamBuilder Coach and I help ladies who are not willing to settle and want to create LIVES THEY ABSOLUTELY LOVE.

The DreamBuilder Program that I teach is a proven, reliable system for overcoming any challenge and achieving any dream no matter how big it seems.

This podcast will introduce you to the powerful principles and practices of the DreamBuilder system and show you the mindsets that are growing or slowing your progress.

The mindsets are all laid out for you as a guidebook and scorecard in Living Happy, Rich and Free After 60 and you can download a free copy of the book at dreambigandbloom.com/guidebook.

Some of you listening to this podcast have not read the guidebook or done the scorecard yet
Some of you may have signed up to download the book but not actually downloaded it, and
Some of you may have downloaded it but not read it

In fact, a study has shown that 56% of digital books that are purchased are never opened!

Isn’t that interesting! As an avid reader and devotee of personal growth and development, I find it amazing.

So, my goal with this podcast is to make it easy for you to try the powerful DreamBuilderⓇ tools and experience the benefits so you will be motivated to do the scorecard and create a life you would absolutely love.

In this episode, I’m going to walk you through a brief Life assessment process and then give you THE KEY to improving your scores and creating a life you would absolutely love.

Before we go there, I have a couple of important concepts to share with you.

The Four Domains of Life

There are four major domains of life in which we experience results:

Health & Well-Being
Love & Relationships
Vocation and
Time & Money Freedom.

Every one of us is creating results in each of these areas of life but you may not be conscious of that fact. It’s all too common for people to think that situations, conditions or outside circumstances, cause their results. But the truth is that it’s the way in which you RESPOND to situations and conditions and outside circumstances that determine your results.

I’m going to give you THE KEY to solving all your problems and creating a life you would absolutely love?

Are you ready?

You’re going to have to be willing to change the way you think about life?

Are you open to doing that?

Great!

And you’ll need a pen or pencil and a piece of paper or your journal.

OK, here’s THE KEY…

YOUR THOUGHTS CREATE YOUR RESULTS

Oh yes…and at first glance it might appear to be bad news that you are responsible for creating the results in your life that you don’t like. But it’s actually good news because you can change your thoughts and radically change your life. Here’s how it works…

The Results Formula

We DreamBuilders call it “The Results Formula” and it goes like this:

#1 Thoughts cause Feelings

Your thoughts cause your feelings. And you know this.

How do you feel when you think you’ve lost your wallet? Your heart races with fear.

How do you feel when you realize it’s in your coat pocket? You relax with relief.

When you think joyful thoughts, you feel happy.

When you think scary thoughts, your heart beats faster.

When you think of all the things left to do and that there’s not enough time to do them, you feel stressed and overwhelmed.

And when you think about what you’ve already accomplished and what you’re capable of, you feel more confident.

Thoughts affect your physiology – the hormones that make you feel stressed or relaxed and happy.

#2 Your Feelings Are Expressed With Your Actions

By universal law, your feelings are expressed with your actions.

Try this out:

Put on the physical posture and facial expression of someone who is sad and down on their luck.

It’s Interesting that we all know how to do that…shoulders forward, head down, face expressionless or frowning.

Now, shake it out.

Now this time, put on the body position of someone who is confident, happy and just had major success.

Interesting! I’m so glad we all know how to do that, too! Shoulders are back, arms are up, huge smile on your face!

So, you can see how our feelings are expressed in our actions. When we feel confident, we feel energized, and we take different actions than we do if we feel down, frustrated, or sad.

And we know that our actions contribute to our results. It’s simply the law of cause and effect.

Write this down and post it somewhere:

Your thoughts cause your feelings. Your feelings cause your actions. And, your actions cause your results.

Most people don’t get this and they don’t realize how it’s holding them back. I just want EVERYONE to know this! It’s so simple and this one key alone can radically transform your life! Yep, I am really passionate about this. Why won’t everyone do this?

Ok, I’m taking a deep breath and reminding myself that “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” I’m doing the best I can to help. Now release and let go and live your best life Mardi. Whew!

See how that works? You can choose your thoughts, change your perception and create a life you absolutely love.

If I were to choose to be all frustrated and discouraged, or even angry or depressed, what kind of action would I be taking and what kind of results would I be creating in my life? Does anyone like to be around people who are frustrated, discouraged, angry or depressed?

To continue…most people look at their results – their circumstances, situations and conditions – and they call THOSE their causes.

Actually, what they really call them is their “be-causes.”

I can’t start a new business be-cause I’m too old, or be-cause I’d lose all my benefits.
I can’t take time off be-cause I don’t have the money, or be-cause I don’t have the vacation time and my boss won’t let me.
I can’t find the love of my life be-cause I’m not young enough, thin enough, attractive enough.
I can’t – whatever – be-cause, because, BECAUSE!

But the true cause of all of our results is our thoughts.

Our results are caused by what we have been thinking.

This is FIRST CAUSE.

Because the truth is, you don’t get to not think. You are always thinking.

You can choose your thoughts, or you can let the old habitual thoughts run your life on auto-pilot.

It’s up to you.

And, if you want to know what you’ve been thinking, look at your results, because your results never lie.

NOTICE WHAT YOU’RE NOTICING

If we want to create new results in our life, then we pay attention to our thoughts. DreamBuilders call it “Notice What You’re Noticing.”

Notice where your feet are in your shoes, right now, touching the ground.
Notice that you can feel the socks on your feet – or the lack of socks.
Notice that you can feel your body sitting in your seat.
Notice that you can feel the air on your skin.
Now, notice that you have the ability to NOTICE these things.

This is how you notice what you’re noticing.

You can do the same thing with your THOUGHTS.

You can notice what you’re thinking, and you can notice how you’re thinking is affecting how you’re feeling.

LIFE ASSESSMENT – FOUR DOMAINS

Now, let’s apply these concepts of the “Results Formula” and “Notice what You’re Noticing” to YOUR life.

Get a pen or pencil and your journal or a piece of paper. We are going to do a Life Assessment.

I’m going to present some ideas for you, and give you an opportunity to consider your current results. I’m going to invite you to NOTICE how you’re feeling about each area in your life. As I make these statements, make note of what feels true for you.

Your Dreams

You might be a person who doesn’t know what your “dream” is. You just know there’s something more.
You might be a person who has lots of dreams and you don’t know whether to choose one, or create them all at once.
You might be a person who is afraid that if you focus on one dream, you will be letting the others slip away.
You might be a person who knows your dream, and is passionate about it, but you aren’t having the results you want.
You might be a person who thinks you’ve tried everything, and none of it seems to be working.
You might be a person who is ready to dust off an old dream and bring it into reality, and there’s a part of you that knows that THIS is your time.
You might be a person who has achieved great success, and part of you is afraid that if you go for what’s next, you’ll lose the success you’ve already gained.
You might be a person who believes that what you dream of is possible for others, but not for you.
You might be a person who has achieved lots of success, and you’re not feeling all the fulfillment you want to feel, and not quite making the difference you want to make.

But know this: every one of us has a dream inside us somewhere, even if we are still endeavoring to find it or achieve it.

The exercise we are about to do is designed to help put you in touch with that part of you that has a dream.

LIFE ASSESSMENT

So what we’re going to do now is consider the results we are currently experiencing in each of the four domains of our lives.

I’m going to offer some prompts for you to consider to inspire your thinking about your results.

So, go ahead and turn to a new page and use a new page for each of the four domains.

Health & Well-Being

Let’s begin with your Health & Well-Being.

You might be a person who feels stuck in your ability to transform your health.
You might be a person who has relatively good health, no symptoms, but you know there is more vibrancy and aliveness you could feel.
You might be a person who has told yourself, “If only I could lose the weight, get more fit, and sustain the results long term.”
You might be a person who wants to heal from a chronic health issue so you can really live your life.

On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your current health results? One being not satisfied at all and five being completely satisfied. Go ahead and make a note of that number in your journal.

Love & Relationships

Now using a new page, write Love & Relationships at the top and let’s consider the results in your Love & Relationships domain.

You might be a person who longs to have a beautiful, deep, fun, and passionate relationship with a loving and caring partner.
You might be a person who would love to deepen, expand, and have more fun with the relationship you’re already in.
You might be a person who knows you have good, solid relationships, but there is a sense that your most important relationships are on autopilot.
You might be a person who is content living the single life, but sometimes feels lonely and feels like there are other relationships and friendships that could be expanded or deepened.

On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your current relationship? One being not satisfied at all and five being completely satisfied. Go ahead and make a note of that number in your journal.

Vocation

Time for another fresh page and now let’s consider the results in your Vocation domain – which is your creative expression, your career, or how you share your gifts in this world.

You might be a person who feels stuck in a job you don’t like.
You might be a person who likes your work, but you work too many hours and you want more time-freedom.
You might be a person who does not look forward to going to work every day.
You might be a person who has had great success, but you want to know how far you can go and how high you can fly.

On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your current vocational results? One being not satisfied at all and five being completely satisfied. Go ahead and make a note of that number in your journal.

Time & Money Freedom

Finally, our fourth domain – Time & Money Freedom. Using a new clean page, let’s consider the results in your Time and Money Freedom domain.

You might be a person who doesn’t have the money freedom to do the things you really want to do, or give and contribute to the causes and organizations that matter to you most.
You might be a person who is missing important moments and not going where you want to go, traveling, or having as much fun and play in your life as you would love.
You might be a person who feels out of balance, like you have more time than money or more money than time, and you’d love to feel more in harmony.

On a scale of 1-5, how satisfied are you with your current time and money freedom results? One being not satisfied at all and five being completely satisfied. Go ahead and make a note of that number in your journal.

Tally Your Results

Now let’s take a moment and reflect on your Life Assessment here.

As we considered each of the domains of your life, and you looked at your current results, you gave yourself a rating on a scale of 1-5 for each area.

Pay attention to your thoughts around those results.

No Judgement

This is not a place for judgement or blame. Your responses are not good or bad or right or wrong. They just ARE what they are at this point in your life.

You are likely feeling a pull for more of or less of something – which is the signal that part of you is ready to do something different to get different results.

This is called noticing your longing and discontent…your longing… and your discontent. You are paying attention to – and noticing – what you would love more of or less of in your life.

So look at the rating you gave yourself in each domain of life and circle the areas with the lowest rating.

Now let me ask you this: How long have you felt this discontent? How long has this area of your life been sending you signals? Go ahead and write down your response. Do you have one or more areas of your life that you would like to improve?

Now ask yourself this: what is maintaining this result costing you? What is it costing you to have this ongoing discontent in your life?

For example, if someone feels stuck in transforming their health, it could literally be costing them the money in their savings account to pay medical bills. Or, it could be costing them joy and happiness, or costing them being physically flexible and fit enough to run and play with their children or grandchildren.
Or, if someone feels like their marriage is on autopilot, it could be causing distractions and affecting their focus at their job – not to mention those precious years of life lost to joy, by not having those special moments of connection and intimacy.
Or, if someone feels like they wake up every morning, dreading the day, wishing they could be anywhere but their office, it could be costing them not only their mental and emotional health. It could also be costing them their energy, which leads to not engaging in intimate relationships and missing out on things at home.
Or, if someone feels like they don’t have the time or money to take a vacation, it could be costing them their peace of mind because they haven’t had a break and are close to burnout– and that could then lead to higher costs for health care – not to mention stress causing difficulties at work.

You can see how a cost in one area of your life can lead to costs in the other areas.

Take a few minutes to write down a few sentences about how long you’ve been feeling this longing or discontent – and what it has been costing you. You can stop the audio and do this now.

Here are two more important things for you to know.

Pay Attention

We receive these signals of longing and discontent, so that we can address them – BEFORE they get even worse. If a tap on the shoulder doesn’t get our attention, then we might wind up getting a 2×4 to the forehead. (Often that manifests as accidents or illnesses)

So, now is the time to listen to that part of you that is ready to make a change in order to get different results.

And the second point is really good news!

Your History Does not Determine Your Destiny

YOUR HISTORY DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY. Whatever your results have been up until now, you have the power within you from this moment forward to create the results you’d love, and it all starts right here – with your thoughts.

Your Homework

So your homework for this week is to:

1. Focus on noticing what you’re noticing. Set a timer or choose a trigger, like going through doorways, or everytime you eat or drink something and observe your thoughts. If a thought makes you feel bad, choose a better-feeling thought.

2. Also, whenever you feel bad during the day, ask yourself, “What is the thought (or belief) that is causing this feeling, and then choose a better feeling thought.

3. Then notice how this practice affects your actions.

Share in the Comments

I’d love to know about your results and answer any questions in the comments below.

Or, be a guest on this podcast and I’ll coach you through it. Just go to dreambigandbloom.com/guest

And as always, you can take your life to the next level by reading the book if you haven’t already and doing the scorecard. Get The Guidebook to Living Happy, Rich and Free After 60

And if you’re ready to invest in yourself and invest in your dreams, to learn the whole DreamBuilderⓇ System, receive the personal coaching that makes all the difference, and be part of a community of like-minded ladies, I’d love to gift you a Strategy Session. This is an actual DreamBuilder Coaching session where we’ll get clear on where you are right now, where you’d love to be and the next best step you can take to move you forward in the direction of your dreams. Just go to DreamBigAndBloom.com/get started and book your complementary Strategy Session.