Hi and Welcome to the Dream Big & Bloom podcast for creating a life you absolutely love!
I’m Mardi Lynn, certified DreamBuilder Coach and I help women over 60, who are disappointed and frustrated because this season of their lives is disappointing. They’re tempted to settle for just good enough but there’s a deep longing within them for more fulfillment and freedom and fun.
I teach a proven, reliable system for achieving any goal and overcoming any challenge no matter how big it seems.
Today we are talking about the reasons people don’t do what they know is in their best interest and what can be done about it.
Last week in Episode #20, I shared a report on Women’s Financial Outlook for Retirement and 10 ways to prepare for a financially secure retirement and I was so puzzled by the percentage of women who are unprepared and apparently not doing anything to get prepared and I wondered why.
“Why don’t people do what they know is in their best interest to do?
“Why don’t people do what they know is in their best interest to do?
And then, as I was getting ready to talk about that this week, I realized that I actually DO know why? My real question isn’t why don’t they do it, but rather, how can I help?
Perhaps you will have some answers for me that you’ll post in the comments.
Last week’s podcast was about lack of financial preparedness and another common domain of life where people don’t do what they know is in their best interest is health. Practicing good nutrition and exercising seems to be a constant struggle for so many people.
I recently had a conversation with a gal who is married to a man who isn’t taking care of his health and who has been warned that he needs to do something about it or there will be serious consequences and he’s not doing it. He’s made several starts but then he doesn’t follow through — just like so many of us.
Is it lack of motivation?
Is it lack of motivation?
It’s well understood that it’s important for motivation to have a strong why. It would seem that her husband has every reason to want to change so that he doesn’t cut his life short. He has a beautiful wife, an adorable baby daughter, a lovely home, an interesting and well-paying job, a nice car. He’s apparently living the good life and has so much to live for. Does he not have a strong why?
I asked a psychotherapist I know, and he said that lack of motivation is usually the result of “overwhelming feelings of inadequacy.” And it’s interesting that he seems to say that frequently when I ask him questions about people’s motivations and behaviour. And because I’m such a results-oriented person and passionate about helping, I thought, “What can be done about that?”
Psychotherapy can provide a solution. However the person has to be willing to show up consistently, be willing to change, and do the mental work necessary to change their thinking and increase their sense of self-esteem and empowerment.
Universal Spiritual Principles
I personally believe that the work is easier if one has a spiritual foundation and uses spiritual practices as well. As Wayne Dyer pointed out in his book, There’s a Spiritual Solution for Every Problem.
And that’s why I’m so enthusiastic about The Dream Builders program. It’s based on universal spiritual principles as well as Psychology and Quantum Physics (which explains how the Law of Attraction works).
I believe it’s important for people to understand that they are not inadequate because they are created and supported by a Higher Power, Universal intelligence, or the Universe, or God.
I’m not talking about religion here. I’m aware that many people have rejected organized religion but I think they have “thrown out the baby with the bath water.” As they teach in 12 Step programs, one must rely on a Higher Power of their understanding.
The Dream Builder Program is based on an understanding that there is a higher power supporting us and that will help us overcome any challenge and achieve any goal. It also incorporates the Law of Attraction and the Laws of Quantum physics. Perhaps they are all the same thing.
There are actually a lot of people and organizations that teach these principles but, at some point, one has to truly embrace them and live accordingly.
A good way to get to that point is to by reading inspirational literature, focusing on affirmations, taking action and getting results.
Of course, you could just choose to believe it. Or some people have a crisis that convinces them — like Eckart Tolle, Byron Katie, Neale Donald Walsh, and many others.
In any case, you need to have it firmly established in your mind and consciousness. It’s foundational.
Reprogramming Our Habitual Thinking
Another thing we need to do is to reprogram our habitual thinking that’s the result of our upbringing, what we call our paradigms. And similar to having a Psychotherapist, it’s important to have a coach and a mentor to help you see the thinking that’s holding you back, provide accountability and encourage you.
You have to become aware of your habitual thinking and choose different thoughts. That’s a moment to moment practice and it requires commitment and accountability to yourself. Studies have shown that people are much more likely to experience success with the support of a mentor and coach.
Managing Fear
Another element of dream building that applies to successful change is learning to manage fear. Fear can be the result of our habitual thinking or programming, and it can also be the result of our past experiences. And a part of the brain is actually DESIGNED to look for fear in order to protect us.
Whatever the cause, the solution is the same. It’s a matter of becoming AWARE of the fearful thoughts and then choosing different thoughts. We develop a practice of being mindful and making better choices throughout the day and then, gradually, the thinking becomes more positive and productive.
And our thinking affects our actions, and our actions create our results.
The Solution
So my conclusion is that, when people see the need to make a change, they have to make the decision to do something about it and then get help.
Their paradigm will try to dissuade them by suggesting that there isn’t good help out there or it won’t do any good. In order to overcome that, one has to just make the decision and take the first step. If you don’t find the right therapist the first time you keep looking. If you don’t find the right self development program the first time you keep looking. If you don’t find the right Spiritual Center, community or mentor, you keep looking.
The Only Way You Can Fail Is If You Quit
The bottom line is…the only way you can fail is if you quit.
So, I hope if you are struggling with lack of financial security or health issues or any aspect of your life that requires you to change the way you are doing things or to develop new habits, that you will commit to yourself to finding a way to make it happen.
You deserve to have a life of vibrant health and financial freedom. It’s your birth right and you’ve been given the tools to create it. You just need practice in using them.
You don’t have to struggle on your own! In fact, most people can’t do it on their own so just accept the fact and find someone who can help you.
What Do You Think?
Now I’d love to know what you think.
Post your thoughts and your questions in the comments and I will respond. Are you going to do anything different as a result of this podcast?
If you have a burning question you’d like me to answer on a future episode let me know in the comments.
If you’d like to be a guest on the podcast and receive coaching, or share a success story that will encourage others, click on the links below.
And, if you are ready to get in-depth personalized support for overcoming your challenges and creating a life you would absolutely love, apply for my DreamBuilder coaching program where we take all the things I talk about here and apply them to you and your life. Just imagine you and me together every week for 12 weeks laser focused on how to feel happy and fulfilled and create your dream life. By the end of our work together you will have all the tools and practices so that no matter what happens in your life, you can have fulfillment, freedom, and fun.
You can see all the details about the program here
And you can book a complementary Discovery session to get my eyes on your vision statement and show you the best next step you can take to move you forward.
Now as you go remember:
- You are capable of far more than you know
- You were created to have an amazing and fulfilling life. It’s your birthright.
- You DON’T HAVE TO SETTLE for just “good enough”
- You are more powerful than any circumstance, situation or condition
- You absolutely can create the life of your dreams.
And I’m here to help.
Much love to you.
Bye for now!
Here are the next steps you can take
- Join the conversation in the comments and and post any questions you may have.
- Listen to my other podcasts, especially #7, 8 & 9
- Be a guest on the show and get free coaching or share a success story.
- Get the full DreamBuilder Program with coaching support
- Book a complimentary Discovery Session on my calendar. We’ll get clarity on exactly where you are now, where you would love to be, and the best next step you can take to move you forward.